


I want to keep on breathing (just breathing)

by FandomLastsForever



Category: RWBY
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Going Sober, Guilt, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Music, M/M, Nightmares, Spoilers, slight body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 08:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomLastsForever/pseuds/FandomLastsForever
Summary: A terrible nightmare forces Qrow to face a problem head on. Luckily, he doesn't have to face it alone.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/James Ironwood
Comments: 19
Kudos: 121





	I want to keep on breathing (just breathing)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Will Stetson's cover of the song "-ERROR" by niki.

_Breathe. _

_Just breathe. _

_Close your eyes, count to three._

The sun hadn't even come up yet, and already Qrow was wide awake.

He'd grown used to it, waking up well before everyone else. It was his body's way of telling him it was time to keep moving. Danger was lurking, they had to keep running from it. Danger from the Grimm, who were drawn to his despair. Danger from his Semblance that never allowed him to stay in one place for too long. Danger from Salem, whose spies were everywhere.

Danger from the immortal witch.

From the allies who betrayed their trust.

From himself and his damn flask.

_Yeah,_ he thought. _It's one of those mornings alright._

As he slowly sat up, Qrow felt a pair of arms around his waist holding him gently. He vaguely remembered going to bed last night. He didn't really remember going to bed with someone else. But as he looked down and saw the peaceful face of James sleeping beside him, it made more sense. After the briefing, James didn't seem to want to let him go. He probably agreed to spend the night.

And he'd be lying if he said it wasn't the most peaceful sleep he'd had in weeks.

_Breathe, Qrow. Just breathe. _

Qrow reached over, lightly running his hands through the general's graying hair, a smile blessing his face as he heard James let out a soft hum of content. Even now, resting and safe, he seemed so drained. Almost listless. Qrow had seen him like this only once before, and the soft blue glow of the power cells in James's shoulder were a constant reminder of that time.

"Don't worry, Jim," he whispered. "Things are going to be okay. At least, I hope they will."

_Breathe. Just breathe. _

Slipping out of his grasp, Qrow left James and headed over to the bathroom, craving the solitude and calm a scalding shower would provide. He locked the door, shucked off the lounge pants he'd been provided and tossed them into a corner, and turned the water at max temperature. As he let the waves of heat trail over him, his mind started to wander once again in a struggling attempt to properly remember what'd happened. Qrow figured it was just exhaustion. They'd been up for nearly a full twenty-four hours. It was probably the stress. The tiredness. Things would be clearer in an hour, surely.

_Yeah, Qrow. Give it an hour. Just breathe. _

** _"You really think breathing is going to fix things?"_ **

Qrow froze, every fiber in his being screaming to fly away. "Jim? That you?"

"Does it sound like Jimmy to you?"

Qrow turned off the water, throwing open the curtain to find the bathroom still completely empty, door still locked tighter than a bolt on an Atlesian Paladin. He checked the cabinets, the closet, the laundry basket. No bugs. No speakers. No other people.

No one but himself.

"I must be imagining things," he sighed. Qrow dried himself off and slipped back into the lounge pants, fluffing up his hair as he left. "Hey Jimmy. You awake?"

James wasn't there when he came back. The bed was perfectly made.

"James?"

Qrow looked around, trying to find where James could have gone. But something wasn't right. The room was wrong. The doors out of the bedroom were gone. The windows replaced with walls. Closet? Gone. Lights? Not working. There were no personal items. No nightstands. When he turned back, he saw the bathroom had disappeared as well.

_Just breathe, Qrow. This is just some kind of trick. Just your mind messing with you._

"Is it? Is it Qrow?"

Qrow turned toward the voice, nearly stumbling back in a panic as he saw several pairs of red eyes glowing in the darkness. Long jaws, curved nails, and jagged movements slowly crawled toward him. Leading the figures was a face he'd seen nearly every day. Feathery hair, stubble, a shit-eating smirk.

It was himself. But it wasn't him. This version had hallowed cheeks, sunken eyes, and chains were weighing him down. His movements were just like those of the Grimm that followed him toward the bed.

"You're not real," Qrow said. "This…this isn't real."

"You sure about that?" The other Qrow cackled, reaching into his shirt for his flask. "Pretty sure I'm as real as can be."

Flames slowly began to light the walls, trickling their way onto the floor and eating the carpet away. Qrow hopped onto the bed, trying to find some method of escape as Grimm and the other Qrow made their way closer. The scent of stale whiskey burned in his senses. As the fire grew, he felt his breathing begin to grow shallow, his lungs struggling as he felt something tighten around them. Screaming began to drown out the silence, and soon Qrow felt his entire body going limp.

_Breathe! Come on, Qrow! Breathe!_

The other Qrow leaned over him, gripping his face with a ghastly claw. "Relax. This will help you."

"I don't want it!" he screamed. "I don't need it! Get the fuck off me! I don't need it!"

"Sure you do. You _always_ do."

Qrow shut his eyes tight, screaming as the flask was brought to his lips.

* * *

** _"Qrow! Qrow, wake up! QROW!"_ **

Qrow's eyes flew open and he sat up, gasping for breath as he finally broke free from the nightmare. The lights were on, the curtains open revealing the last of night fading into dawn. His clothes were laid over the back of a chair near a desk, and Harbinger was resting on a mount on the wall, ready for action.

And a pair of hands came to rest on his shoulders. One warm and calloused, the other smooth and cold as ice. Both strong and keeping him from falling as he slowly managed to calm himself once again.

"Qrow?"

Qrow looked up to find James's face, blue eyes wide with concern. "I…I'm sorry."

James managed a smile, pulling him close in a protective embrace, his metal fingers gently running through Qrow's hair in soft, soothing movements. "It's alright. No need to apologize. Are you okay?"

"…I don't know." Hesitantly, his arms slinked around James's shoulders. "I honestly don't know, Jim."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…"

That was a good question. He honestly didn't know if he _should_ talk about it. Not with everything going on right now. But not talking about it made it harder to breathe.

With a defeated sigh, he pulled away from James and headed over to his clothes, rummaging in the pockets until he found the flask. It was still heavy from the last time he refilled it.

_"Relax. This will help you."_

_Just breathe, Qrow. Just breathe. It's okay._

"Qrow?" James asked. "What's going on?"

"I need you to do me a favor." Qrow held up the flask so James could see it, keeping his back to him. "I need you to hold onto this for me for a while."

James went slack jawed. "Why?"

_Just breathe._ "You ever hear of a kind of Grimm called the Apathy?"

Soon, everything began to pour out of him. Qrow told James about Brunswick Farms, the community who went to bed one day never to wake up again. The journal they'd found explaining why things had gone so wrong. How the struggle to continue the journey to Atlas only grew harder. How he wanted to just give up. How he'd nearly gotten everyone killed drinking himself to death. The fire. The kids dragging him out of the storehouse. His drinking binge once they finally settled in Argus.

And through it all, James listened quietly, waiting until Qrow finished his story.

"So that's why I need you to hold onto this for a while," he said, his voice growing tight as he bit back the shame. "I can't…I can't keep it anymore. Not after all that."

Qrow closed his eyes, his hands shaking as he waited for James to respond. Was he angry with him? Disappointed? Disgusted even? He wouldn't blame him if he was. After all of that, Qrow was probably the last person he'd want to have around. If James saw fit to deny his request and throw him out for this, he'd accept it. As much as it would hurt him, he'd accept it.

Much to his shock however, James got up and took the flask, taking it over to the desk and locking it in one of the drawers. Qrow stared at him, trying to process what'd just happened. When James came back over to him, all the worry and fear seemed to have vanished, replaced with something softer. Something warmer. Tender.

"Jim?"

"I'll lock it in a proper safe later," James said softly. "Going sober is an incredibly difficult mountain to climb. If there's anything I can do to help you on that climb though, all you need to do is ask, Qrow."

Qrow let out a huff, his eyes burning as relief over took him. "Thank you."

James nodded, pulling him back into his arms. Qrow hugged him tightly, nuzzling his face into James's neck as he felt the stress melt away.

Just breathe, Qrow. Things are going to be fine. Just breathe.

"Are you okay?" James asked once more.

"I don't know." Qrow smiled, placing a chaste kiss to James's lips. "But I think I will be someday."

James smiled. "Someday. That's a good start."

"Yeah."

The two stayed close, holding each other as they watched the sun rise. As Qrow found his hands lightly playing with James's beard, he began to think of what they'd do now that it was a new day. He'd have to change his wardrobe. A new outfit would probably help with things. And he'd have to make sure Harbinger was properly up to snuff. Check on the kids. If things went well today, maybe he'd have time to fiddle around in the kitchen. Make him and James something nice for dinner if they were both up for it. They hadn't had a proper meal together since Beacon, and after everything, it felt like they both could use some one on one time over some food.

Yes, Qrow had a lot of things he wanted get done today.

But most important of all though, he would breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> First new one shot posted in a long time, but it's a start. It's good to be writing again.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
